is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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