Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
