Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
