belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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