I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
