Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
