i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
