hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
