just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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