the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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