my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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