Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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