Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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