if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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