turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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