i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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