omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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