Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
