Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
