you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
