Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
