wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
