TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
