i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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