5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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