i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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