I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
