Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
