Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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