YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
