.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
