If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
