guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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