This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
