Yo dont text me then not text me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
