We won't sleep together?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
