This girl is more easily done than said...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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