You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
wow bdsm is so cute
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