Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
