were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
