her vagine was all disorganized.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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