Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
