Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
