1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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