ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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