I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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