Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
