If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
