i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
