The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
