It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
