No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
